WALDO V Confessions of the Turtle Team-trail junkies
Where’s Waldo 100K Relay
August 19, 2006
Willamette Pass, Oregon
By Jim and Jane Updegrove
The Turtle Team was not a dream
Craig said we had to do it.
T’would be a pain, what would we gain
if we were just to try it.
The entry fee was gone you see
the mail carried it swiftly.
The stress did grow but we had to show
our friends would hear no other.
So, off to abuse, there was no use
we knew that we must suffer.
The people were happy, some called me pappy
La Fuma some thought would be better.
But at 3 in the night I left in delight
with over 40 crazies.
The dust was fine like inside a mine
and my breathing became very clog-ged.
Glow sticks lit the way, I would follow, I say
to get to the Gold Lake aid station?
Their lights were bright, the tables a delight
as they helped me get on to Mt. Fuji.
Now turtles go slow, but they’re wise you know
to the top, “I’m gonna’ make it!”
The sun did rise and t’was no surprise
Mt. Fuji did draw closer.
The aid was great, I unloaded my freight
and headed for a look at Waldo.
From rocks to boulders to slippery shale
I moved my shell, I would not fail.
Lewis Taylor passed me by
Just like a kid, he was so spry.
Up that winding trail right to the top
Lewis made it quickly, he wouldn’t stop.
Then Winston and Koerner and Kozak and others
Here came a gazelle, they weren’t her brothers.
Like a mirage coming out of the night
Krissy moved smoothly, what a lovely sight.
Down the mountain, Mt. Ray we would conquer
That’s just before many people would bonker.
The fun of running such beautiful trails
with Curt’s careful markings, how could anyone fail?
From sign to sign, they were intriguing
The next long climb proved very fatiguing.
Should I go fast, sorta try to run
another root hole-that was fun.
Play with my mind, keep my body hydrated
when I get to the top I’ll be really elated!!”
“Where is the top?” Bill Montgomery?
“It must be in some foreign country!”
A prom, an illusion, a spectre at last
I thought I’d stay there, it’d be a big blast.
Like turtles might move at a very slow rate
but a fast moving clock was counting my fate.
Craig and Jeff passed betting the clock would win
I said, “No way! That’d be a sin!”
“I’d be out on the highway, homeless indeed
or maybe like Clem, I’d need me a steed.”
The clock wound down as the Twins came in sight
A dance with the prom queen, popsicle, then FRIGHT.
“Turtle II’s gonna’ kill me if I don’t make the time
a little cushion would be better, she’s sick of my rhyme.”
On up the hill, my popsicle dripping
Put that bottle away, get running, stop sipping.
Turtles aren’t fast lest they go into alarm
at this point on the trail, I lost all my charm.
“Get out of the way, the hell with the pain
it’s run down this hill fore’ Jane goes insane.
Waterbars and divots seemed to slow down my stride
“If I don’t make the cut-off—-oops!-no bride!”
Pushing and pushing like an old turtle must
The clock I would beat, in this you can trust.
Campers cheered as I ran to the goal
Turtle II pranced off like a new born foal
TURTLE II-saves the day!
The time I have is without much cushion
but I will make it if I keep on pushin’.
I take off running around the lake
the cut-off at 4290 I must make!
Miles on WALDO I can really trust
and so I guess my butt I must bust.
On thru 4290, no time to spare
a horse and a rider gave me a scare.
The Twins I must make, it’s so far away
Turtle I said, “Run! get moving! don’t play!”
The Twins they grew closer, “gotta make the top!”
“Drop my pack, don’t fiddle, don’t stop!”
Gravel sliding, not much of a trail
My time is a turning, wish I could sail.
A walk to the top, time keeps closin’ in!
If I kill Turtle I, will it be a sin?
Don’t know if I’ll make it, gonna’ give it a try
It’ll be so very close, maybe Turtle I will fry.
Down the hill I feel like a smarty
I’m gonna’ make it, I think there’s a party!
The prom has begun, Curt waves me thru
to Maiden Peaks, that’s what I’ll do.
Ticer said, “Six hundred meters more!”
at this late date, all my muscles were sore.
Upward, upward, this must be heaven
I’ll make it in before eleven.
Maiden Lakes, a little Dew in the shade
I think from here I got it made.
Those lovelies at the aid stations made my day
and they all did it gracefully, without any pay.
Lights in the distance, who might it be
Dan and Nancy, it’ll be company.
Kathy out front a’ shining a light
Chris, Andrew and Rachel removed all my fright.
You don’t say to turtles, “Now giddyup and go!”
but to most untrained people, we look mighty slow.
We just hang in there and shuffle our legs all the way
and on to the finish, to complete a perfect day.
Craig was so happy when the Turtle Team finished
they’ll do it again, they won’t be diminished.
The Turtles have finished, they passed the test
and so until next year, WALDO can rest.
Names used to incriminate the guilty:
prom queen-Melissa Berman